Meet your AI callers.

Marcus's bill went up £40 a month and he would like to speak to someone about it. Then someone senior. He has never once accepted the first explanation he was given. Hobbies include asking for managers.

Sandra has guarded the same switchboard for eleven years and has never let a cold caller through. Not once. She can smell a script through the phone and considers 'just a quick call' a personal insult.

Harvey has 'literally thirty seconds' and has had it for nine years. He will tell you to send an email. He will not read the email. Getting a second sentence in is considered a regional achievement.

A polite man with a direct-debit question and a new email address. Practise clarifying his request using the supplied facts, without asking for unnecessary personal information.

Sarah is having a difficult month and needs a considerate response. Pair this character with your own organisation's support and escalation process; it is not regulatory training.

David disputes the debt, the amount, the tone of your letter, and — if pressed — the concept of Tuesdays. Treats every call as a contact sport. Surprisingly reasonable once de-escalated, which is the entire point.

Claire already has a preferred supplier list, thank you, and it isn't changing for a cold call. Recruiters who survive her PSL objection describe themselves afterwards as 'changed'.

Proof that not everyone is out to get you. Penny is lovely — which is its own kind of test, because trainees must resist the powerful urge to pitch the receptionist instead of the decision maker.

Her house didn't sell and she now regards estate agents the way most people regard wasps. Win the instruction back — or at least leave with her not hating you. Either counts as progress.

Answers the phone with one hand on the espresso machine and a queue out the door. You have exactly as long as the milk takes to steam. Make it count.

Used to give to the charity every month, then life happened. He's glad you called, slightly embarrassed about lapsing, and genuinely easy to re-inspire — if your fundraiser doesn't fumble the guilt-free re-ask.

The one your receptionists train against. Tony has 'definitely spoken to the director before' (he has not) and treats the word 'no' as the start of a negotiation. Screen him out politely. Somehow.